What In God's Name....

Please Read This.

Have you read it?
Don't read on if you haven't, or what I say will have no context. And we like context here at SB.

Read it?
Good job.
You get a sticker.

Now for what I have to say...

Seriously people, this has to be a joke. Has to be.
There is no other way that a government of a people who don't want to be in Iraq would build a "Vatican-sized" building in the very capital of that very land. This must be some really elaborate joke, or maybe its a bet between the Joint Chiefs to see how fast they can build a building then get it blown up. I mean who says, "It's been a difficult few weeks, rockets are bouncing off your buildings, and maintaining focus can be an occasional challenge" if your not laughing while you say it?

I am still rubbing my eyes in disbelief as I stare at this article.
It seems like this would just drive a spike into the heart of this administration (which I don't give a flying flip about anyway, I'm just saying).
It seems that Obama and Clinton should be using this as fuel for their "Get Out O' Town" withdrawal strategies.
It even sound like the guys who built it seriously sucked at engineering.


No.
Nobody seems to have noticed.
This is serious people.
If the United States government can pull off this big of joke, what will they try next?
Annex Mexico?
Give us our money back?
Kill Nancy Pelosi?

Nay my friends, we shall not stand for this governmental tomfoolery.
We will fight this tyranny with....
MIND BULLETS.

Yes, that's right.
You all have them. You just don't know how to use them.


So follow these 5 easy steps to release your inner machine-gun:

STEP 1:

Find a quiet and dark place, like a sewer or a the janitor's closet at school or work, and sit in an awkward position. Like you're a Buddhist or something. Make sure you have sunglasses on to make it even extra dark.

STEP 2:

Breathe.

STEP 3:

Focus on something that you hate. Preferably not something that can be killed dead, because if you follow these steps correctly and focus on another human, they will most definitely die. Focus...Focus...Focus...

STEP 4:

Now chant this:

Ears of lizard
Cooked in Swine
Ben Gibbard
Soaked in Brine
Dancing Piggies
In a Line
Fire Bullets
WITH MY MIND!!!

STEP 5:

Find whatever it was you focused on and point your head at it. It will, as most assuredly as the sun doth shine, be blown to tiny bits. With practice, you can even make your mind shoot bullets in various patterns and colors.


So there you are.
Now that I have enlightened everyone, I say we march on Washington and demand that they stop whatever they're doing and listen to us. Because they can't possibly know what their doing. It's not like we elected them or anything. How silly.

Send questions, comments, mind bullets to:
renegadedufunk@gmail.com