Don't Worry About It!

When someone asks me what I was just talking about, and I don't feel like expounding upon the subject matter, I tell them to "not worry about it." And what really pisses me off is when people get angry that I will not tell them. People these days seem unable to mind their own business; they want to know every little detail about everything (even if completely trivial). Frankly, it makes me angry when I am made out to be the bad guy just because someone can not seem to mind there own bollocks.


This whole concept got me to thinking: what does this mean for us humans and how does this define our character? And why should we stop pestering people for trivial information?

Well first of all, the fact that we have to know everything all of the time defines us as a society that takes information for granted by trading it and inquiring it like a commodity: selfishly whining like a little child and throwing a temper tantrum every time we don't get what we desire. People need to grow up a little bit and realize that sometimes it is for the better that we do not get everything we want. It is sad that our generation must not only act selfishly upon physical wants such as technology, fashion, food, media, etc., but now we do not even treat information, and intellect, with the respect and restraint it deserves. You do not need and you will never get everything you want, so don't smear your diaper next time you don't receive when you ask. Let sleeping dogs lie.

Here is why you should not worry about what you do not know so much:

• It causes stress and wastes time. Let's say that you can't figure out what your friend talked of the other day and you spend a good half a day trying to uncover the conversation. You just wasted valuable time you could have been learning legitimate and quality information (i.e. reading a book).
  
• The world does not revolve around you. Just because I say something and don't want to tell you does not automatically make the subject matter about it. Stop being egocentric and realize that sometimes I just do not feel like repeating what I just said. It's just not worth the effort sometimes.
  
• If the subject matter does involve you, realize that I know it is for your betterment that I do not tell you what I just said. Your selfishness will usually get you into a worse situation than you were in beforehand. So weigh the cost before you get too inquisitive next time.
• A nosy person annoys people (or at least me) to no end. You want to keep good relationships with friends, don't get overly nosy. It just makes people like you less because you won't leave them alone.
  
• Oh and on a side note what you know can sometimes incriminate you. This is called the "now that we told you you are one of us and can't squeal or we will hurt you" concept. Everyone has experienced this to some extent.
  

So please next time I tell you to not worry your britches stop yourself before you burst out in anger and consider the fact that it pisses people off when people get too nosy, and sometimes it is for your benefit to shut up.

Oh and by the way I am aware that this rant does not apply to scholarly pursuits. Those are fine.

Send idiotic tangents to Danny O'Neal at
renegadedufunk@gmail.com

An Open Letter to Barack Obama

Dear Mr. Obama,

First, before I say anything, I must congratulate you for forcibly taking the United States of America's Most Valuable Person award (also known as "The Presidency"). Microsoft better get on their horse to make sure spellcheck doesn't keep telling me that I'm trying to spell Alabama when I spell your name.

You're the big cheese now. Everyday will be a big day for the Obama Family.

But I have a few suggestions/questions/demands which I think you should listen to, because you are Barack Obama, man of the populace of the U.S. I hope that you will seriously consider what I am about to put forth for your consideration, as this considering may lead to more consideration in the future when considering is needed, all things considered, of course.

1. Change the name of the "White House" to the "Obama's Pimp Hideaway"

I think this would be the best way to start your presidency. You would be putting an end to racial insensitivity in Washington, and showing the world that black and white are indeed opposite colors. This has been in question for a while. It also would seriously raise your cool points with me, and let me tell you, you are in some serious trouble right now.

2. Declare School Unconstitutional, and that everyday is "Fair Day"

Self explanatory. But make sure the teachers get new and more lucrative work, such as being secretaries for Steve Jobs. This also increases cool points exponentially.

3. Give everybody a Masters Degree in something or other

Because school is definitely not worth it.

4. Declare "Negro Awesome Day" on July 3rd

Here's the deal, Barack. Your black. Everybody knows this. So why don't you help your race? Since you are Dictator Of the World, you could raise awareness of how minorities (but mainly the black kind) have helped make the world a more awesome place. Then we could totally have a two-day Festabration honoring black people and America. Cool Points skyrocket.

5. Make your book Blueprint For Change equal to the Bible

Then we all wouldst know what thy talkest about, O mighty one.

6. Change the Name of America to "The United States of Katurday"

COOL POINTS ASPLOSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This concludes my suggestions. I think if you will follow this blueprint for change, you will be the most uber cool president ever, and like, everybody will love you, and young impressionable teenagers who want a president who they feel can emotionally guide the country will worship you, and put bumper stickers with your name on it on their cars that their parents paid for, and massive amounts of otherwise rational people will dump their "old fashioned" ideas for your oh-so-progressive new ones, which sound a bit like socialism to me, maybe not even a bit, kind of a lot, wait, your not a socialist are you, because if you were I'd have to tootally be a socialist too, cus if you're doing it, then I have to, because you're like, the greatest speaker ever or something, even though I'm too young to have ever heard anybody else with a mastery of rhetoric, so I wouldn't know if you we're good or not, and do you like Kanye West, because I do and you're so hip and cool I thought that maybe you'd like totally be into his music and stuff, and I love you, because you are going to be the president of the freaking u.s. ohemgee I can't even believe it I'm so going to tell my kids about you when I have them, or maybe I won't because I wont have any kids because I got abortions, and then my life is a total wreck, but you're still cool and stuff, and do you prefer peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or peanut butter and honey?

There. I said it.

Sincerely,
john
aka awesomeman

p.s.
You're not gay, right?


Send your mindless dribbling idiotic prattle to
renegadedufunk@gmail.com

What In God's Name....

Please Read This.

Have you read it?
Don't read on if you haven't, or what I say will have no context. And we like context here at SB.

Read it?
Good job.
You get a sticker.

Now for what I have to say...

Seriously people, this has to be a joke. Has to be.
There is no other way that a government of a people who don't want to be in Iraq would build a "Vatican-sized" building in the very capital of that very land. This must be some really elaborate joke, or maybe its a bet between the Joint Chiefs to see how fast they can build a building then get it blown up. I mean who says, "It's been a difficult few weeks, rockets are bouncing off your buildings, and maintaining focus can be an occasional challenge" if your not laughing while you say it?

I am still rubbing my eyes in disbelief as I stare at this article.
It seems like this would just drive a spike into the heart of this administration (which I don't give a flying flip about anyway, I'm just saying).
It seems that Obama and Clinton should be using this as fuel for their "Get Out O' Town" withdrawal strategies.
It even sound like the guys who built it seriously sucked at engineering.


No.
Nobody seems to have noticed.
This is serious people.
If the United States government can pull off this big of joke, what will they try next?
Annex Mexico?
Give us our money back?
Kill Nancy Pelosi?

Nay my friends, we shall not stand for this governmental tomfoolery.
We will fight this tyranny with....
MIND BULLETS.

Yes, that's right.
You all have them. You just don't know how to use them.


So follow these 5 easy steps to release your inner machine-gun:

STEP 1:

Find a quiet and dark place, like a sewer or a the janitor's closet at school or work, and sit in an awkward position. Like you're a Buddhist or something. Make sure you have sunglasses on to make it even extra dark.

STEP 2:

Breathe.

STEP 3:

Focus on something that you hate. Preferably not something that can be killed dead, because if you follow these steps correctly and focus on another human, they will most definitely die. Focus...Focus...Focus...

STEP 4:

Now chant this:

Ears of lizard
Cooked in Swine
Ben Gibbard
Soaked in Brine
Dancing Piggies
In a Line
Fire Bullets
WITH MY MIND!!!

STEP 5:

Find whatever it was you focused on and point your head at it. It will, as most assuredly as the sun doth shine, be blown to tiny bits. With practice, you can even make your mind shoot bullets in various patterns and colors.


So there you are.
Now that I have enlightened everyone, I say we march on Washington and demand that they stop whatever they're doing and listen to us. Because they can't possibly know what their doing. It's not like we elected them or anything. How silly.

Send questions, comments, mind bullets to:
renegadedufunk@gmail.com

I HATE HALO 3

There, I said it. Now before I go any further, let me explain where I am coming from. I used to be a Halo fanatic. I played Halo 2 online as much as possible, bought all the map packs, reached level 26 or 27, could dominate (most of) my friends, and even found many easter eggs within the campaign(the scarab gun was insane).

So you can only imagine how excited I was when I saw the first Halo 3 announcement at E3 2006. By the time summer 07 hit I was counting down the days, and eventually the hours and minutes. I did not buy the legendary version of Halo 3 though. I bought the collectors edition. $130 for a game was just too much money for this frugal gamer.

That is my "halo history" in a nutshell. Now on to the bashfest.

ALERT: POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD!

First off, Halo 3 suffers from lack of innovation and originality. The level design has hardly changed since halo 1 except for some more detail. The campaign levels are all the same. Go blow up something, rescue and defend, or reach the next point so you can kill the big bad salamander or ape. Oh, and you might get a helper, or distraction depending on how you look at it, along the way.

The "new" weapons are not that new. Brute Spike?! Please, just another excuse for the smg.
Spike grenade? Plasma but can stick to walls. Gravity Hammer? Sword but louder. Flamethrower? Other games did that years ago.
Why is it that the aliens and humans seem to have guns that do the exact same things but just happen to have differently colored projectiles? Brute Prowler and Chopper? More like a Warthog and Covenant Ghost. The only gun I somewhat enjoyed was the Spartan Laser because it was new, original, and took some skill to use. Oh and don't even mention
the bubble shield, it just made annoying nwb campers even more annoying.

Kitty Laser = Best weapon evar!


Next, the Halo series has taken the skill out of FPS's (first person shooters). Every gun has a slight auto aim for noobs who don't have enough skill to do jack squat. One clarification: I believe Halo 1 does not have this function. But 2 and 3 do. Just see this video right HERE. BTW I know the video is for halo 2 but the same concept applies to halo 3.

The plot line of Halo 3 seems to have been rushed beyond comprehension. Although there are a few more Earth levels, the whole "Gravemind" thing could have been awesome. But instead it was convoluted, confusing, and it didn't wrap up that well (I still think that was the most retarded way to kill him).

In addition, the plot reused exact halo 1 levels (Assault on the control room and The Maw) towards the end of halo 3. While these levels were fun on Halo 1, I felt ripped off paying money for a rehash. Finally, fighting with the flood is the worst idea I have ever seen. You spend 2.5 games attempting to exterminate a bacteria only for it to suddenly have a change of heart! LAME! Also, the final ending scene of Halo 3 is everything but a final closing sequence. It's just another Micro$oft attempt at a sequel to make more money.

But most importantly, the Halo series have the most annoying and stupid people to ever play an online multiplayer game.
They have no sense of class or respect.

A little trash talk is fine, but these kind of people ( and you know who I am talking about if you have played) are just not fun to play with. Just try having a fun or competitive game while some little 9 year old boy on your team won't shut his whiny trap about how cool he is and how he can beat you. And in addition to this he is constantly in your way shooting you as you try to kill people.

Then there is the other kind of breed. Those teenage boys who think they are all that because they scream obscenities and talk of all kinds of debauchery of which half the other team has never heard before. Where have all the good, kind, respectful, and fun gamers gone? I will tell you. They are all playing the less played games like (GOW before everyone started playing it, Splinter Cell, etc.). The only fun gamers are those over the age of 20, I promise, but there are occasionally some good teens.

Master Chief Sucks at Halo 3 is a perfect example of annoying people.

Now I have talked up a storm of hate, but I will give Halo 3 a few props. First, the Forge is a good editing map that is fun to screw around with. And Bungie worked hard to make this a solid game. Unfortunately, this game was extremely hyped, and did not come close to expectations. Oh well, it's M$, what do you expect?

The only way I will ever play Halo is through a local connection with my friends.


Last but not least, alot of you people are probably thinking: "if he doesn't like Halo 3, then what does he like?"

Well, wouldn't you like to know.



Send any retarded comments or questions to
Danny O'Neal at renegadedufunk@gmail.com

Country Music: A Large-Scale Joke, or a Lab Test Gone Horribly Wrong?

Quick question: who is the greatest musician of all time?
If your answer was Pat Green, George Strait, or Johnny Cash, then you my friend are in for a wild ride.
I thought, that since this is the first post on music here, it would be good to get this out of the way, so nobody is confused:

The Country genre is the worst excuse for music. Ever.

It is worse than pop-hip/hop and hair metal. It is the either the biggest joke the music industry has ever attempted to dupe the world with, or the product of some lab testers in Arizona who were trying to fuse folk with god-knows-what-else. I prefer to take the more optimistic side and just pretend that it was good natured chuckles-a-lot joke between friends gone horribly wrong.

But I might be too kind.
Let's get on to the...well, I can't call it music, because it's not. What shall I call it? The grating, repetitive, mindless, uneducated, pseudo-folk sound which seems to emit from the depths of hell (namely Nashville), is almost beyond description. It insults the massive folk tradition of America, while in turn making a mockery of popular music. Bands like Rascal Flatts, Toby Keith, Keith Urban, and Cross Canadian Ragweed (they actually have their own hanging tree, but more on that later) are in fact the most prime example of how an industry can mass-produce crap at an astonishingly speedy rate.

First and foremost, Country's number one mistake (and yes, it is a fatal one) is that they lay claim to America's folk tradition, as well as the "fact" that they are an American-created genre. Oh-ho! Tell me where you find America's folk tradition in the massive chart-topping single from Kenny Chesney, "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy":

"She thinks my tractor's sexy/
It really turns her on/
She's always staring at me/
While I'm chuggin along/
She likes the way it's pullin' while we're tillin' up the land/
She's even kind of crazy 'bout my farmer's tan/
She's the only one who really understands what gets me/
She thinks my tractor's sexy"

It would seem obvious as to why Radical Islam thinks America is full of pigs.

America's folk tradition lies within the storytellers of the early blues era (eg: Lightnin' Hopkins, John Lee Hooker, Hound Dog Taylor, B.B King, etc...) and the jazz greats (Aaron Copeland, George Gershwin, Duke Ellington). It does not reside in the songs of hicktown. Songs like "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy", "Alcohol", "Life is A Highway", and "Jesus, Take the Wheel" are absolutely and utterly ridiculous.

First, their classification as "Country" is in serious question, because it sounds to the sane ear like pop with a ridiculously annoying twang. Second, the songs lack any original thought pattern (if any actually exists) and are poorly constructed and executed. Third, the actual instrumentation relies so heavily on the use of pedal-steel guitar and/or fiddle to create a "country-like" atmosphere that it seems as if your drowning in a wall of sound that is both unsatisfying and downright absurd. Fourth and most importantly, the singing is average at best, but most often sub-par and infuriating. No, Carrie Underwood is not a awesome singer. Her voice has such a massive amount of post production tweaking on it, that I'd bet if you heard the original mix, you would be astonished at how unpolished she sounds.

If your one of those cretins who say, when asked what kind of music they like, "Oh I like country...but not the new kind, the old stuff", then you are a low form of being. That is bull and everybody knows it.

People seem to revere Johnny Cash, George Strait, Willie Nelson, and selected others not worth mentioning here as true masters of "Country-Folk" or "Folk-Country" or "Country-Rock". The awe and admiration that stems from a basic level of stupidity for these men is incredible. None of them can sing, Willie Nelson couldn't tell a story to save his life, and Johnny Cash is dead, god rest his soul. I believe the reason these men are so highly regarded by the music community is that they were all raging alcoholics and/or drug users at some time, which elevates any amateur songsmith into a music god almost overnight (eg: Kurt Cobain, Pete Dohtery).

The culture of Country does not make sense. To the average man, beer, women, and tractors do not constitute normal everyday procedure, although he may dream about some sort of odd combination of all three in his fantasies. Country does not make sense because it is a unsustainable lifestyle that the stars of country promote, much akin to the thug lifestyle which rappers apparently have. Their presentation of themselves in their videos and pictures are almost comical and circus-like.
Here is an example:



case and point.
They are not rebels. They are not "The True Patriots". They are not artists.

So in conclusion,
much more could be said about how Country is destroying our society, raping our churches, burning our women, and provoking terrorist attacks, but I would be wasting my precious time. I believe I have given a thoroughly deserved and fair thrashing to this deplorable genre. If you have anything to add/comment/spout upon send emails, as always, to

renegadedufunk@gmail.com

What We Do

Here at Storming Babylon, our little piece of internet turf, we aim to deconstruct popular culture's view of the word "Good". We aim to criticize mercilessly and logically all that which we believe to be complete idiocy in society: whether it be movies, music, sports, politics, religion, or the even (god forbid) the news.

We will challenge people to think. We will challenge people to change their conception of "good". You may scoff at one tiny blogs' ability to change people's minds, but if that is you, then you do not understand the power of the written word. A well timed and persuasive argument can turn even the most vile of a heathen into a bible-thumping believer.

Nothing is sacred.

Storming Babylon is a term which we have invented. It is a reference, of course, to Ancient Babylon of biblical times. In its prime, Babylon was considered the epicenter of thought and culture, while at the same time being the most god-forsaken heathen piece of earth...it would make a Las Vegas strip-joint owner blush. America has been called by many to be the "New Babylon". And so it is that we will do. We will take on America.
What is lunacy, we will call lunacy. What is true, beautiful, and good, we will call it thus.

If you disagree with the positions we take, do not immediately become offended. Remember, you are in the majority. Most people will disagree with what is said here. If you find yourself agreeing with us often, then you probably do not need to read this blog. We only ask that you stop your huffing and puffing for a moment actually understand what you read, see, and listen to.


My name is John
I will be covering most of (but never limited to) the music and political/social events.

My colleague's name is The Dixonator
He will be covering most of (but never limited to) the movies and sports/social events.

My other colleague's name is Dan
He will be covering most of (but never limited to) gaming and the movies


We hunt truth.
And kill lies.

"...Time I am, destroyer of the worlds, and I have come to engage all people. With the exception of you, all the soldiers here on both sides will be slain.’’
Bhagavad Gita 11:32